A True Story: Embracing Fear as the Price of Growth
It’s not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena … who, at best, knows in the end the triumph of great achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly. So that his place will never be with those cold timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. ~ Theodore Roosevelt
Fear … it’s all about the way our subconscious perceives survival. It knows that you are in a safe position and that survival is more or less guaranteed if you carry on in the same way. As soon as you start to consider making changes to your life, your subconscious mind will surely play the fear card.
The danger of giving in to this fear is that you begin to feel as though life is passing you by. As the years pass, these feelings can become magnified and you can become filled with regret over opportunities you didn’t grasp. It happens to millions of people and this fear ruins their opportunity for a better life.
The secret to meaningful change is to give yourself such a compelling reason that no matter what, you accept you must embrace fear as the price of growth.
Linda’s Story
Linda had pretty much accepted that if things kept going the way they were, her life would end one cold morning … shot dead by some thug robbing the gas station convenience store where she worked the graveyard shift.
She’d never gone further with her education than high school and still lived in the town where she was born. Her home was a trailer park off the interstate where she rented a cramped and aging mobile home that had long ago seen better days.
Sometimes in the quiet morning hours at work she’d allow herself the luxury of dreaming about getting a better job, and maybe even one day having a home of her own. But she had to admit that all seemed pretty farfetched because up to that point in her life the most she’d ever managed to earn in a year was $18,000. Not that there hadn’t been opportunities to apply for better jobs, but rather than risk the humiliation of rejection and sure failure, each time she’d managed to convince herself that with no real skills to speak of she should just be grateful to even have this job. She hated herself for feeling afraid –of change, of finding she was incapable of change, of one day simply disappearing.
Then one morning, just as she was about to end her shift, a car pulled in for gas. The driver, a smartly dressed woman came in to pay and get some coffee for the road. They chatted for awhile and before leaving she handed Linda a card and told her if she knew anyone who might be interested in earning extra money by starting a part-time business to give her a call.
Linda didn’t say a word, but stuck the card in her pocket. She spent the next three weeks suffering through emotional whiplash debating with herself over all the reasons she should, and should not call. She finally managed to dredge up so much pain imagining what it would mean to never have anymore in her life than she had right at that moment, she made up her mind that regardless of what happened, this was her line in the sand, she would overcome her fear and take charge of her life. Hands shaking, she picked up the phone and began dialing the number on the card …
With a big enough reason why, you can accomplish anything you wish for in your life.
Linda’s story is true, though I changed her name for this article. The company or business opportunity isn’t important – what is important is that she was able to rewrite her life story by taking that first step. It took a lot of work (meaningful achievement always does) but Linda not only managed to overcome her fear, she learned that while working at the convenience store she’d developed quite the knack for sales and went on to build a successful full-time business.
In fact, I know Linda and often share her story as an example of what can be done once fear is accepted simply as a part of growth. You see, today Linda has come a long way from that trailer park … she not only owns her own home, she is a top achiever in her field and officially a millionaire – no kidding!
If you long to overcome fear of change or just want to motivate yourself to take that first step to begin making your dreams come true … start by asking yourself the following questions.
- Can you remember a time when you felt fear and you did it anyway? How did that feel?
- What is the payoff for keeping the fear?
- How are you hiding?
- If you didn’t hide, what would you do instead?
- What specifically is your fear focused on?
- If that wasn’t an issue, what would you do instead?
- If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do?
- If you knew everyone would support you, regardless of the results, what would you do?
- What is the first step that has to happen in order for you to get started?
It’s so important to demonstrate to your subconscious that YOU are in control and that you will not let fear of change control you.
Create a clear picture of what you want, make the decision, and draw your line in the sand …
* * *
Stories are how we connect with one another. Stories inspire lasting change, build brands, foster team spirit, shape positive workplace culture and create legacy by sharing through the generations. Are you good at sharing your story? Do you know what makes a good story and where to find them?
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Mahalo!
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This is a very inspirational blog.. Lesson learned don’t let fear let you down.. Thanks for a great post!
Sally Thompson recently posted..walmart oil change
It is better to fail than not even trying. Rising up from those comfort cushions and slogging, can only lead to any progress. And Marty, you’ve rightly pointed out, the price that you pay for growth is fear. We all have been through this and bit of introspection will show that, not moving, out of fear of instability, is the worse than a failure. Awesome post!
Kevin Rudd
Hello Marty,
Wonderful story. We have all been in this story and some of us are still stuck there. It is so hard at times to overcome our fears and know we can accomplish anything we want in this life if we just keep going.
Thanks for sharing this.
Barbara
Marty great post. That is a great story and I love to read about them and hear them. I think one of the most inspiring stories was Dani Johnson’s abandoned by the man she had her first child with. Living on the streets and then on top of that running her business from a phone booth! Like I said I love these stories.
Steve
Hi Marty! Awesome post… I love talking about fear! Yes, Fear is Growth! It also provides a wonderful opportunity to embrace, to create change, to take a chance, to try something new and different, to invent a new tactic or strategy for our business. I especially love the way fear gives us the opportunity to move forward to the success we want to achieve! Thanks for sharing this awesome post.
Marty,
Wonderful and powerful story. You are a true craftswoman with your words. I overcome fear daily in personal life and in my business. Running National Seizure Disorders Foundation is even more rewarding when I face the fear of ‘wearing a new hat’ and overcome the words of others trying to discourage me from pressing forward. My passion and the thought of over 3 million Americans needing love keeps me moving toward my goal. Thank you for posting this story. I know everyone reading it will benefit from the power behind the story.
Peace -
Terrific Tonya Heathco
National Seizure Disorders Foundation
Terrific Tonya Heathco recently posted..NSDF- Our Position in a World of Ignorance
Twitter: jbennett2020
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Wow!
Excellent story that you are sharing, Marty. You have an awesome ability of getting your idea across through story-telling.
I’m inspired.
Thank-you for that.
-James
James Bennett | Pro U recently posted..I’ll Make You an Offer You Can’t Refuse Michael Franzese Wisdom Books
Hi Marty,
This is a powerful post. I appreciated the way your illustrated your points with Linda’s story. I totally believe everything you said. Fear plays a huge part of everyone’s lives. You asked if I could remember a time when I faced fear and what I did. After I had finished my novel, I knew that I needed to get out there and meet people. No one would ever hear about it if I didn’t start opening up my mouth. I started blogging out of fear. I am having an incredible experience getting to know so many wonderful people. I am glad that I pushed through.
Cheers,
Shanae
Welcome Shanae. Thank you for your thoughtful comment, I’m so glad you liked the article. Congratulations on completing your novel – and for overcoming your own fears. There’s really nothing quite like the emotional high one experiences the first few times you push through the fear. Hope to see you here again!
Hey Marty ~ This is a really great post. Only by accepting our fears and stepping out of our comfort zones (where we are often stuck and struggling) can we even begin to reach our goals.
Twelve years ago I did just that. I stepped out of a place where I was struggling and unhappy and built what is now a multimillion dollar company. As I recall it was really difficult to get to that point. But I had an idea and I put it into place and I made it happen.
Now that this business is running smoothly I am off on another venture. And again I am fining I have to step out of one comfort zone so that I can move to a higher place.
Thanks for a great post and a wonderful reminder.
Jim Talbott recently posted..Brunswick Maine Memorial Day Parade
Twitter: SadieMHarris
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Oh Marty!
So true and a really good share… we really all must step out of out zone of familiarity and comfort once in a while! Heck it’s not fun being a big fish in a tiny or empty pond!
It’s incredible too, I have found the times I do take myself out of the zone afterwards I say to myself blimey I should have done that ages ago!
Enjoy the rest of the week and thank you for share
)
Sadie-Michaela Harris recently posted..Using PayPal Mass Payment – will save you money!
I also Love the opening quote and the way you incorporated that story .Agree with you that fear has stopped us doing many things,but we can not have right to avoid it but we must face with it.After that,we find out the way to tame it and pas it.It is the way we should live
Haley recently posted..Why To Choose For Residential Security
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The last time I was really scared to do something, and did it anyway was… about 9 hours ago! I had to make some phone calls, which is never easy for me. But afterward, I felt so much lighter… so relived of pressure. I’m not quite at the place where I look forward to doing it again, but I’m gettin’ there.
Willena Flewelling
Hi Marty,
I absolutely LOVE this story. It really moved me.
I know that fear has stopped me doing many things but I always find it incredible, when the reason is big enough how there seems to be no other choice!
Thank you so much for sharing this.
All the best,
Emma
Emma recently posted..TSA iWowWe Tribe
Twitter: prfuller
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Hey Marty
I am always amazed when fear holds me back.
Over the years experience helps but sometimes I am faced with something new and of course fear sneaks in.
Just recognizing it works.
Peter
Peter Fuller MBA recently posted..How to Attract your Niche to your Blog – Day 3 of 5
Our emotions good or bad and either way can be more powerful over us than we can ever imagine. And of course fear is no different it really can cripple someone and hinder any success that is within them that they deserve and want in order to change their life for the better.
Twitter: steveborgman
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Hi, Marty! Love hearing the stories of others who have pushed themselves beyond their fears. So many of us would rather be comfortable with our misery than uncomfortable with a risk that would make us truly happy
Thanks for the challenge and inspiration.
Steve-Personal Success Factors recently posted..Discover the Best Way to Talk To Yourself
Twitter: Mazzastick
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Hi Marty,
Sometimes we know that we need to change yet fear holds us back. Damned if we do and damned if we don’t so to speak.
As long as there is no physical danger I won’t let fear get in my way.
Justin | Mazzastick recently posted..Master’s Lesson – Intuitive Exercises to Awaken The Divine Self
Hey Justin, thanks for your comment – really appreciate you sharing your thoughts on the article.
Twitter: KevinMartineau
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Hi Marty:
Fear can be so powerful in our lives (if we allow it). We need to face our fears and step right through them! This is something that I am slowly learning to do over time.
Thanks for sharing this inspirational story and post!
Kevin
Kevin Martineau recently posted..12 essentials of good confrontation
Hi Kevin,
Thanks so much for stopping by and for your comment – really happy you enjoyed the article!
Mahalo! How nice. I believe that’s Hawaiian. I agree, fear is a terrible thing. Unfortunately, there are many stories like this. It requires inner strength, courage, willpower, and a desire to overcome what seems impossible to do. But it is possible, as your story so nicely tells of Linda’s struggle onto steppingstones to success.
I love the little bluebird of happiness! We can never have too many….
Suzanne McMillen-Fallon, Published Author 2011
“For as awareness is, so is God consciousness.”
http://www.strategicpublishinggroup.com/title/Mommy’sWritings.html (currently not active)
Welcome Suzanne – and well done with the Hawaiian greeting. Mahalo means “thank you” but like so many Hawaiian phrases there’s any number of ways to use it to express your intent. So glad you enjoyed the article, and my little blue bird. I’ve had so many compliments about it I finally broke down and named her – Blanche
Twitter: _MandySwift_
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Hi Marty, I love the ‘parabels’ you tell here. They are so much more than just stories, they are truly full of widom and meaning. I love the message here, it is so clear: “No matter what, you accept you must embrace fear as the price of growth.” The one thing that breaks my heart is the number of people who are unable or unwilling to pay this price (said from the heart because one of the people closest to me in the world – my mum – was unable to battle her fears and I had to stand helpless as her world shrank to nothing). The world needs more educators like you to help people overcome this fear.
Great post, thanks.
Hey Mandy, thanks so much for your heartfelt comment. I certainly agree with you, and I think we’ve all known people who simply were never able to overcome their fears or internal demons. It’s terribly sad, but I think it’s also a good lesson in that ultimately it really is up to each of us to be responsible for the quality of our lives.
Twitter: raenalynntweet1
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Hi Marty,
Yet, another good one! We all have to face our fears, and I can relate to this post. At the end of the article, you presented several questions.
1. Can you remember a time when you felt fear and you did it anyway? How did that feel? Yes I can remember a time when I felt fear, and it was about taping videos on youtube! I taped myself a couple of times, then deleted the videos because of the fear! This month I am taking on a 30 day video challenge, something I would never think I would do just a few weeks ago, and yes it scary, but the challenge is helping me to get over the fear!
2. What is the payoff for keeping the fear?-There is no payoff for keeping the fear.
3. How are you hiding? I used to hide, but not anymore!
4. If you didn’t hide, what would you do instead? Go for it!
5. What specifically is your fear focused on? I’m not focusing on any fear.
6. If that wasn’t an issue, what would you do instead?
7. If you knew you couldn’t fail, what would you do? Pursue anything.
8. If you knew everyone would support you, regardless of the results, what would you do? I would pursue any of my dreams, which I am because I know that I have so many wonderful people in my life who are supporting me.
9. What is the first step that has to happen in order for you to get started? Get over the fear, which I have so the first step is over!
Honestly, I couldn’t have said that 2 months ago! Wow, what a transition! Thanks for writing this article. It gave a chance to recognize transition. I am experiencing this because of the amazing programs on self development I am participating in at the present time.
Raena Lynn
Aloha Raena,
Thank you so much for your truly inspirational comment! You are obviously going through some pretty awesome transitions in your life, and I am so touched that you took the time to share here. As a partner in TSA you can count on me to cheer you on!
Hi Marty, this is a great post about embracing fear, we all need to face our fears to progress in this world. It was great the way you included a story with this article. The story in the article made it a lot more effective. I will be back to this blog. All the best Rosemary
Rosemary recently posted..Do you Fear Confidential Data Loss As Much as the Theft of your Laptop !!
Thanks Rosemary! I’m glad you enjoyed the article and especially happy to know you’ll be back!
Top to bottom – excellent blog post. Loved the opening quote and the way you incorporated that story into your message was wonderful !
I wish I could add more but awesome just about covers my thoughts.
Joyce
Joyce Penner recently posted..The biggest and best lesson I learned …
Thanks so much Joyce for taking the time to comment, and I’m so pleased you like the article!
Twitter: monadvexp
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Fear is such an irrational thing and yet it holds so many people back from achieving the success in life that they should. Sometimes it is fear of success and other times fear of failure.
Whichever one it is it can be overcome. I wonder which one Linda suffered from before taking up the challenge.
Trevor Barrett recently posted..Special Deals Are Everywhere
Thanks for stopping by and commenting Trevor. As I mentioned, I know “Linda” well – she really had been beaten down by life so for her it was a complete lack of self confidence. She deserves the credit for dredging up the courage to make the call, but the universe also give her a long overdue boost up by linking her up with some pretty wonderful people who helped with her training and building her self-esteem. Once she got started, nothing could hold her down!
Hi Marty, or Aloha,
I love your use of telling stories, I think they’re more relevant to others, they can empathize and put themselves in that situation very easily. Its almost as if they convince themselves through their empathy. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to your newsletter!
Thanks Leslie, really appreciate your comment – and please do let me know if you find the newsletter enjoyable and useful – it’s scheduled for distribution this Friday a.m.
Twitter: stevetheowl12
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Great post, Marty! I think that one of the things that we have to remember is that we just can’t let the fear make our final decision. I’m not saying to ignore the possible outcomes and not do due diligence, but that if you spend all of your time thinking about what goes wrong, you’ll never see what could go right.
Thanks for taking the time to comment Steve – and you raised an excellent point. It’s always important to temper the desire to overcome fear with making informed decisions.
Twitter: joyce_edwards
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Hey Marty,
Great story about somebody overcomming their fear. I have my own story of overcoming fear when I first was introduce to a group of business professional that had monthly meetings. Everyone had an opportunity to give their 60 second sales pitch about themselves and their business. I would quietly sit there until it came close to being my turn. When it was 2 or 3 people before me, I would politely go the the washroom until I was safe from having to talk. It took me awhile but now I don’t sneek away.
Joyce,
PS – I love story telling to make a point.
Thanks for your comment Joyce, and especially for sharing your story. It’s certainly not easy overcoming those feelings, but once you do you really have something to be proud of … congratulations!