Are You Settling for Good Enough?
Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness. ~Bo Bennett
Life is full of choices and it is what we make of them that ultimately define us. We may not always choose the circumstances, but we do have the ability to determine the quality. And in doing so, we have the power to choose NOT to settle for good enough.
Have you ever settled for a job that pays the bills but doesn’t allow you to make the most of your potential as a person and a professional? Have you ever settled for a relationship that brings you more pain and sorrow than it does joy? Or for friends that sap your energy or put you down instead of support you?
Of course we rationalize six different ways to Sunday why something is working and why pretty much any situation is preferable to the discomfort of change.
“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” ~ Maureen Dowd
Now don’t get me wrong … there is a level of truth to the position that we can’t complain and be disgruntled about everything that comes into our lives. But, when fine becomes good enough all the time or when we are afraid to hold out for the best – and chose to settle for the ordinary, our lives will be impacted.
Why do we settle?
The truth is, we settle out of fear of change and because we think it’s the only choice we have. Settling for comfortable, where things can’t get any worse, may seem like a safe option at first. But what it also means is that they won’t get any better.
Examples of settling for less thinking:
- I guess this is as good as it gets, so I should just be grateful for what I have.
- It really doesn’t matter to me if I get married or have children.
- As long as I have enough business to pay the bills, that’s better than nothing.
- It’s better to have these friends than no friends.
- It’s better to be in this relationship than to be alone.
- I can live on $2000 a month, so that’ll be good enough.
- At least I have a job, even if it’s one I hate.
Other signs you may be settling …
- You wish time away – can’t wait for a lunch break, weekend or time alone.
- You find it hard to get up in the morning.
- You dream of a completely different life, constantly feeling the need to escape.
- You find yourself feeling jealous of others lives.
Often people aren’t even consciously aware why they make the choices they do. Even when the outcome leads them to fall victim to painful circumstances, they simply chalk it up to bad luck.
When you know deep down that something isn’t right, don’t allow yourself to believe that it is or that it’s all you deserve. The kind of life you want is in your hands and it’s only until you realize your worth that you can make way for the life you duly deserve.
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Twitter: MuslimDating101
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“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” ~ Maureen Dowd.”
My girlfriend had this quote written on a poster stuck on her desk at work when I first met her. I never mentioned anything about it initially although when I first read it, I thought to myself, ‘This girl is made up of something special.’
We’ve been together for 5 years now and a quote like Dowd’s now summarises how we handle our lives and ourselves. We understand that sometimes we’re going to fail at things but we’re never going to be satisfied by accepting that as a truth without first trying to shoot for our true goals and objectives.
Settling is akin to giving up.
Wonderful post and that quote in particular brought a smile to my face
Matt.
Matt recently posted..Muslim Dating Site Quiz – Matchmaking Made Easy
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Sometimes we thought where we are right now is the best place for us. We get contented with things that we thought are good enough for us.
Twitter: andynathan
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I think we all settle at some point or another in our life for something. However, I like to think of life like a roller coaster, so maybe this is just the dip before everything goes back up.
Andy Nathan recently posted..LinkedIn Recommendations
Twitter: coachestraining
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Great points Marty.. So often we settle for less and rationalize it away. We are inches from what we truly want, but we stop and sit, or worse yet, turn back. It’s right there, we can smell it, taste it, and feel it, but we always seem to settle for less. It’s time to change the way we think, time to reclaim our dream – get back in the driving seat and plan for what we really want.
Jeff
Jeffrey Sooey recently posted..The Death Of Certified Life Coach Online Training
This post is really empowering and full of good insights.
You have a very good point here:
“The kind of life you want is in your hands and it’s only until you realize your worth that you can make way for the life you duly deserve.”
I totally agree with you. People know what they really want in life but because of fear, they just settle for less than what they could really become.
Karylle Lynch recently posted..BLS Announces 2010 Injury and Illness Rates, OSHA Concerned about Injury and Illness Recordkeeping
Hi Karylle, so glad you enjoyed the article. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Twitter: SadieMHarris
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Fabulous post Marty;- yes I must say sometimes I do settle with good enough but usually in relationship to time. Squeezing something into 2 hours which I would prefer to have 3 hours to do would be settling for good enough in some eyes but I’m rather that than not at all!
Have a 1st class weekend!
Sadie-Michaela Harris recently posted..By: Sadie-Michaela Harris
Hi Marty, I have to admit I’ve been one to “settle” in the past, although I’ve always strived for me at the same time. Looking back over the years, what I was striving for used to change. For example, when I was 25 I went back to school because I didn’t like the job I had. When I had my degree, I decided I wanted a different degree, then eventually, I realised I didn’t want a job at all:-)
Thanks for your inspiring article Marty and have a great weekend! Julieanne
Julieanne van Zyl recently posted..Evolution of Relationship Marketing for Online Network Marketers
Marty,
I join the pack here thinking I don’t settle and with a good hard look I have. I know it’s unacceptable. I know it’s not going to get me where I intend. Yet, it take a post like this to shake me awake. It’s why I like coming back here to read your stuff. Thanks,
RICK
Rick Lelchuk recently posted..Define Yourself
Twitter: joyce_edwards
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In this economy so many people are falling into the “good enough” mode. Although things are harder than before I feel that one shouldn’t just settle for less. Maybe it is a little more scary but we must move through our fears.
Joyce Edwards recently posted..Get a Second Opinion
There are lots of people who are satisfied and content with what they have so long as they are happy. However, there is nothing wrong if you still want more so long as you know your prioritization and you make the right decision. Life is not easy and we have to face all the trials and consequences along the way.
Julie Hayes recently posted..used fire trucks
you give me an idea if I’m on the right place to settle, but I think I’m not yet ready because of I’m scared of loosing something that in the end it might be a trap for me.
Candice Michelle recently posted..gun holsters
Twitter: Yourinda
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Hi Marty,
your great food for thought fits right in with what I have been pondering on in the last week.
Mostly I am content with my life and I also realise that I settle for ‘Thistledome’ (it was a personalised numberplate I saw).
Recently I decided to spend more time on loving myself, which according to an audio I listened to with Marci Shimoff, increases our capacity to receive.
I am willing to receive more.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this important subject.
Love and Light
Yorinda
Yorinda recently posted..Forgiveness and Feelings
Twitter: reachnathalie
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I was having a conversation about this very subject with my husband last weekend. I love that you put it in such a way in your post that it is easy to see th ereason why this happens to so many people.
It is sad in a way but I feel most people are not even aware of it. They become so num to why they feel a certain way that they stop wondering why. They rush through the day and hope to make it home before traffic so their favorite reality show is on.
If you mention even the idea of putting a few hours in a home business…often they will look at you like you are from mars!LOL…
Like you mentionned and you are so right…”Often people aren’t even consciously aware why they make the choices they do. Even when the outcome leads them to fall victim to painful circumstances, they simply chalk it up to bad luck.”
Making the right choices as nothing to do with luck…and the people who work on themselves and their mindset know that!
“Transformation is all about making the right choices”
~Great reminder Marquita,
Nathalie Villeneuve
Nathalie Villeneuve recently posted..More MLM Success Tips-Maximize Your MLM Business
Hi Marty,
As usual, another great topic that many people take for granted and don’t think about enough.
Sadly, people get too comfortable and it is always easier to accept the status quo, rather than step out of our comfort zone and try to improve our lot in life when we are faced with a major decision and the inevitable choices.
But, if you have the discipline to step out and try something new and different and are willing to make the commitment, anyone can dream and achieve more out of life.
But, it starts with us looking in the mirror and being honest with ourselves and really evaluating where we are and asking the tough questions to determine if we really are settling.
Keep inspiring us,
Marc
Marc Korn recently posted..How Do You Develop The Habit Of Self-Discipline?
Twitter: KevinMartineau
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Hi Marty:
So many people are just going through the motions in life. I struggled with this for many years and then I had to make the decision to either live out my passions (and rock the boat) or settle (and not rock the boat). I am so glad that I chose to live out my passions.
Kevin
Kevin Martineau recently posted..I don’t want to go through the motions
I feel like I have settled for less than what I was worth for most of my life. I go through phases where I try to strive for what I really want or feel like I deserve out of life but then I fall back into the same negative mindset that gets me into trouble all over again- meaning I end up just taking what I’m given or thinking I’m not good enough to get what I deserve. But last year I decided I was going to stop settling and take my fate into my own hands- and even though changing up a lot of things in my life has caused me to hit some bumps in the road, overall I can honestly say I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m doing things on my own terms and believing in myself, and my positive energy has had the added benefit of introducing amazing new people and experiences into my life that I know I would not have been exposed to had I just ‘settled’ for the life I was living.
Hello Marty
Yes I agree life is full of choices and it is what we make of them that ultimately define us. Choices is what makes life exciting. It is when we stop making these choice that life becomes boring and we have no hope. Settling for good enough is an easy trap that many people get caught in. We should ask ourselves daily are we settling for good enough?
Thanks
Perry A Davis Jr
Music City
Perry A Davis Jr recently posted..Seven keys to developing strong relationships in network marketing.
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Excellent post Marty, made me think about whether or not I am settling for certain things in my life.
Peter
Peter Fuller MBA recently posted..How to Build Your Prospect List