Avoid These Common Traps to Make Better Decisions
How’d a nice person like me end up in a life like this?
How do you make decisions? And how do you know when you make a decision, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the decision you made is the right one?
Some things in life are black or white, and so are easy to make decisions about. But sometimes we face tough decisions that involve one or more unknowns. And sometimes we simply become overwhelmed by too many options.
Of course we can’t always know with complete certainty the consequences of each alternative of a decision might be. This is especially true of big decisions like quitting a job, entering or exiting a relationship, or moving across country.
So when faced with a difficult decision, what do you do? If there are many unknowns, if the consequences are not all clear, is it possible to do any better than simply guessing?
When we choose we risk losing, but if we avoid choosing we most certainly lose.
Unfortunately, what often happens in such situations is we freeze. Even when we don’t like what we have, we worry that the alternatives may be worse. In a way every decision involves a choice between maintaining the status quo vs. making a change. When we can’t be certain a change will work out for the better, by default we stay put.
It doesn’t matter which side of the fence you get off on sometimes. What matters most is getting off. You cannot make progress without making decisions. ~Jim Rohn
The most common decision making traps to avoid.
- Not remaining focused on your priorities: In every choice that we have, there is a temptation to focus short term … to remove the frustration and stress so that we might feel better now. To make better decisions, always take into consideration your highest life priorities … the life you want to create for yourself. How will your decision play out over the next year? What about the next five or ten years? The clearer you are about your life priorities, the easier it will be for you to make decisions that serve you in the long run.
- Not taking time to fully understand the issues. The better you understand the issue you’re facing the more likely you are to make a good decision. Do the research to understand your options, and potential consequences and then fearlessly commit. Be determined to learn from each decision and experience, right or wrong, and you’ll soon find the process becoming easier and you’ll be making better and better choices.
- Waiting for certainty about the outcome. Some people, those with perfectionist tendencies in particular, have difficulty making a decision unless they have reached a point of certainty about the outcome. If unable to achieve this feeling of certainty, their minds go round and round in circles over analyzing the problem until they end up procrastinating or simply not taking action. There are few things in life that come with a guarantee, and keep in mind … not making a decision is in itself a decision.
- Making knee jerk decisions based on a whim. Although such decisions are often quickly recognized as a mistake, it’s usually after the damage is done. This type of decision making is frequently associated with money and the short term adrenaline rush of the opportunity to treat one’s self to something special vs. long term, albeit less exciting choice of being fiscally responsible. Keeping priorities in focus and taking the time to think through the consequences will help to avoid decisions you’ll regret later.
- Believing a decision can only be valid if approved by other people. One of the biggest obstacles to personal growth and becoming an effective decision maker is the constant need for approval by others. This is often a self-esteem issue. The approval you really need to find is within yourself. The more decisions you make, the stronger and more confident you will become and the less you will need validation from others.
- Becoming overwhelmed by too many choices. One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to raise your personal standards. Doing so will naturally eliminate many if not most of the smaller, unimportant decisions that may plague you on a daily basis. Our standards determine the quality of the work we do, how we treat people as well as how we allow people to treat us, in fact pretty much every area of your life.
- Failure to learn from the past. Some people seem to suffer the same problems over and over. Instead of taking responsibility for the decisions they’ve made in the process and failing to learn from past experiences, they blame bad karma, fate, lack of support from family and friends, or any number of other reasons for their problems. Again, this is often a self-esteem issue and the only way to effectively move forward is to accept one’s role in the process, identify what hasn’t worked in the past and why, and commit to making better choices in the future.
- Beating yourself up for making a ‘wrong’ decision. There are no guarantees that every decision you make will always have the perfect outcome or will always lead you to happiness. Beating yourself up over making a wrong decision will only end up causing you to second guess future decisions and undermine your self confidence.
No one is perfect. If you knew you were about to make a wrong decision, would you go ahead with it? Of course not, but that should never prevent you from having the confidence to make future decisions. Decision making is like building muscles, the more you do it, the stronger and more confident you will become.
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Twitter: hmn4sale
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These are good pointers to consider. This will lessen the wrinkles of every individual. And of course we should just engraved positivity in all the things we do and never mind the destruction.
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Well said! In our lives we come to a point where we must make difficult decisions. The thought of making this decision may frighten us, but it is something that we have to do for ourselves. We may have made wrong decisions in the past and we cannot beat ourselves for it, it is a learning experience as no one is perfect. I also agree that when we make decisions we cannot base our decisions on others’ approval, we must base it on what we think and believe is right. We must be confident with ourselves and the decisions we make.
Hi Marty, we could also say “it’s risky going after our goals, but it’s even riskier not going after them at all”. Look at all the people who do the same job day in and day out, even though they dislike it intensely. And, they would rather do that, than go after their goals. Or, as you say, “avoid choosing”.
My biggest challenge is staying focused on what I’ve decided (at the beginning of the week), I will complete. I often end up doing something short term that seems more fun at the time, whereas I should be focusing toward my long term goals.
Thanks for all these reminders Marty. Regards from Julieanne
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Welcome back Julieanne, and thanks so much for your thoughtful comment! You actually reminded me of a point I forgot and that is ‘floating priorities’ … just as you pointed out sometimes we shift from one priority to another … it’s all about focus and with so much noise in just day to day living that can be tough at times.
Hello Marquita
Each of us have our busy lives and in this world of constant distractions, we can loose focus on our priorities. As you explain that leads to the temptation to focus on the short term. Many times we succumb to the appeal of a short term answer. I have found that in such situations the most effective decision making strategy is to keep an eye on my priorities and then let my intuition suggest the right choice. Radio personality Paul Harvey tells the story of how an Eskimo kills a wolf. The wolf became so focused on his craving and fails to notice the razor sharp sting of the naked knife on his own tongue. What you say in this post about avoiding the common traps to make better decisions can prevent one from the hidden knife blades in life.
Thanks
Perry A Davis Jr
Music City
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Welome back Perry and thanks so much for sharing your thoughtful insights – always appreciated!
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Agreed, there’s no point being annoyed at yourself for making a wrong decision. It’s been made, learn from your mistake and carry on
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I get what you’re saying about approval. My friend is like this. She can’t make a decision without consulting me and a few other people first. The thing is, no one knows your life more than you do – no matter how close to you they are. You have to make the decision based on your past experiences and what you want for your future.
It’s okay to get an opinion, but ultimately, decision making rests with you.
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Aloha Marty, you really elaborated them well. I often see people that punish or blame themselves for a wrong decision they made. On my part, I take things as a challenge and ready myself whatever the outcome may be..
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Oh those decisions can make or break you. I feel that every year we go through life, we add more experience and knowledge to our decision making. I agree with you Marty, it isn’t easy all the time to make the right decision. But I certainly do appreciate your tips and advice as they are wonderful reminders on how keeping focused and taking your time in learning what you can before making a decision no matter how big or small.
I look forward to sharing this with my fans, followers and clients. It is a good resource to refer back to as well.
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Hi Marty,
I like the way you shine the light on all the different angles of decision making and their ‘challenges’.
Being overwhelmed with too many choices can be hard and I believe for that it is good, like with most important decisions, to sleep on it if we can.
What helps me is writing it all down, so it is out of my head and I can ‘look at it’ without being entangled in it.
Thank you for the great food for thought.
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Great post! You enlightened up my mind in choosing my decisions in life. “The more decisions you make, the stronger and more confident you will become” I totally agree with this one.
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Wow Marty, what a post! How’d a nice person like me end up in a life like this? I have no idea but the decisions I have made played a big part in it all. In fact I wished I had had this post and it’s advice when making some of the simplest decisions in life!
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I couldn’t agree more–especially with the last two. If you keep looking in the rear view mirror how will you know where you are going?? Great post!
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