Begin Today to Create Your Stress Free Zone
I think stress is related to control. When you’re in charge of your life, you tend to not care about losing control of things that don’t really matter like traffic jams. ~Marilu Henner
Those first days and weeks back to work after the holidays can feel like going from 60 to zero in a minute. The good cheer, cooking, visitors, family, glitz, glitter, toys, a million chores … for the most part drowned out the bad news, political posturing, all the doubts and fears about the economy — then, over, zip. Now what?
For most of us January means catching up on work that piled up over the holidays, trying to get back into routines, facing the reality of those well intentioned New Year Resolutions that seemed so promising only a few weeks ago, dealing with the realization of how much we (over) spent during the holidays, and starting to think about taxes … resulting in a fresh rush of stress.
It may be normal to feel pressured, even a little overwhelmed this time of year, but that doesn’t mean you have to simply accept the stress. There are things you can do to ease and even eliminate many causes of stress in your daily life … in effect create your own stress free zone.
Do we have a choice?
Stress triggers vary from person to person, and even day to day…you are stuck in traffic going 20 miles an hour on the freeway, and all you can think about is how the traffic is driving you crazy. You step on the scale and it tells you your weight is five pounds more than 2 days before and your mood plummets … other triggers could be relationship or job changes, moving and money, deadlines or something as simple as not being able to find a parking place when you’re running late.
Debunking Myths about Stress
Myth 1: Stress is the same for everybody
Stress is different for each and every one of us. What is stressful for one person may or may not be stressful for another; each of us responds to stress in an entirely different way.
Myth 2: Stress is always bad for you.
Stress is to the human condition what tension is to the violin string: too little and the music is dull and raspy; too much and the music is shrill or the string snaps. In other words, not all stress is bad for you. There is this thing called eustress, for example. Eustress is a positive type of stress that leads to feelings of fulfillment, excitement, exhilaration and potential growth. Without it, life would be extremely dull and depression would be rampant.
Myth 3: Stress is everywhere; you can’t do anything about it.
For better or worse, stress may be a part of every day life, but you can plan your life so that it does not overwhelm you. Effective planning involves avoiding spending all your time reacting to the pressures around you … setting personal boundaries, getting clear on your priorities and working on simple problems first, solving them, and then going on to more complex difficulties.
Myth 4: The most popular techniques for reducing stress must be the best ones
No universally effective stress reduction techniques exist. We are all different — our lives are different, and our reactions are different. Self-help books can teach you many of the stress management techniques and be of great help, as long as you stick to the program and practice the techniques daily.
Myth 5: No symptoms, no stress
An absence of symptoms does not mean absence of stress. In fact, camouflaging symptoms with medication may deprive you of the signals you need for reducing the strain on your physiological and psychological systems.
Myth 6: Only major symptoms of stress require attention
This myth assumes that the “minor” symptoms, such as headaches or stomach acid, may be safely ignored. Minor symptoms of stress are the early warnings that your life is getting out of hand and that you need to do a better job of managing stress.
If you wait until you start feeling the “major” symptoms of stress (such as a heart attack), it may be too late. Those early warning signs are best listened to earlier rather than later.
Avoiding Stress Triggers
Stressors: Although not all sources of stress are avoidable, you’ll gain a tremendous sense of control and self-confidence simply by learning to recognize things that trigger stress for you. Make the choice to avoid as many of those triggers as possible, and learn to recognize the others for what they are … temporary and in the big things of life, unimportant.
Situations: If you cannot avoid or change a stressful situation, you can still work out what you can do to not repeat the situation in the future. Again, the simple act of stepping back and putting things in perspective can go a long way toward reducing the effects of any stress trigger.
Expectations: Some ‘experts’ say the best way to reduce stress associated with expectations is to simply lower your standards. It makes me ill just thinking about how many people will follow that advice.
While it is true that perfectionism is a serious stress trigger, that doesn’t mean that you should simply not try to do your best. The key is to create realistic expectations by establishing a benchmark (starting point) and as you begin to achieve small victories, gradually increase your expectations.*
No Control: In any situation where we have little or no personal control, it is our attitude that ultimately matters most. While we need to accept there will be some things we cannot change in life … we still have the power to control how we choose to respond.
Environment: It is admittedly easier said than done to recommend staying calm and composed in the face of pressure or stressful situation. But there are many things you can do to create your emotional and physical stress free zone; get enough sleep, exercise, eat healthy, and make the decision today to make YOU a priority. Too often we spend our days reacting to demands on our time, resources and emotions, all to the exclusion of our own well being.
And above all, keep your sense of humor alive!
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Mahalo!
Twitter: hmn4sale
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Thanks for sharing this great article. This really helped me deal with the stress I am going through right now. If there’s one thing that reduces my stress is playing with my cat. Feeding and playing with my cat after work really helps me lessen the tensions.
Another wonderfully insightful post, thanks! Everyone feels stress, and it makes sense that it affects everyone slightly differently, we are all different after all. And thanks for debunking some popular stress myths, I sometimes forget that stress can be a good motivator too. I personally get most stressed when I feel a lack of control over my life. Thanks for the useful tips, if more people read this the world would be a less stressful place for sure!
I really to find more on this subject I have subscribe to check. Also, splendid article. I want to read more of the columns on this wonderful website. more power and good luck
bette recently posted..Laser Skin Tightening
I wish I had more time to find my free stress zone too. I simply try Yoga when I am out of my skin…It helps!
Anna recently posted..veneers for teeth
I can’t deny the fact that I used to stress myself a lot because of so many concerns I have in mind. Right now, I’m starting to learn how to handle my stress in order to avoid any effect to my health. Hopefully, I could handle myself much better than last year.
James recently posted..Phoenix 98900 Power Rower Review
Twitter: Yourinda
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Hi Marquitta,
your post is an inspiration once again.
The way you look at the myths is awesome, since it helps create the awareness of being ok with how we are unique in all of this.
As you say, we can have control over our attitude; Viktor Frankl was a great example of that.
One thing that helps me is to spend some time each day writing and clearing what is going on for me and I am very grateful for having the time, space and peace to do so.
Much appreciated!
Yorinda recently posted..Looking after yourself with abundant Energy
Twitter: growwithstacy
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Hi Marty,
Great points that you share! Too often stress is ignored until there is some major symptom and the lesser symptoms are often ignored as being caused by stress.
This year I am building the habit of meditation into my daily schedule. It is really helping me to feel less stressed and is raising my stress threshold. It takes more to stress me out than it did before. I’m also using afformations (not a typo!) and they are very effective as well.
Have a blessed day!
Stacy
Stacy recently posted..Habit Building Day #11: Grow Like Bamboo Roots
Good for you Stacy, meditation, deep breath … just getting outside and enjoying nature … it all makes a big difference!
Hello Marquita
Since there is only one person who can stop the stress in your life, and that is you, this article has important information for every reader. All of us, even the most laid back person in the world, have stress triggers. A large part of the battle is always knowing who or what you’re battling. Your list of stress triggers is very helpful. The explanation about dealing with expectation makes more sense than just lowering our expectations.
Thanks
Perry A Davis Jr
Music City
Perry Davis recently posted..Network Marketers! What is your most important tool?
Welcome back Perry, and thanks so much for contributing to the conversation. You make an excellent point about how even the most laid back person can experience stress … it really is all about those pesky triggers. I knew a woman who didn’t work, rarely went out in public in fact – which in itself was her stress trigger. Any new experience, having to go some place she’d never been – it caused her so much stress she would become physically ill!
Twitter: anthonymcneil
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Hey there Marty,
It’s funny but after reading your post, I couldn’t help but think that as I’ve gotten older, the things that use to cause me stress barley bother me know.
I don’t know if because many of those things were not as big of a deal as I made them at the time, or if I’ve just learned to handle them better.
Great information. Something nearly everyone of us can use.
Anthony
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Twitter: esther96
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We can’t get away from stressful situations so the best thing to do is to adjust the way we react to stress. As you said, there’s a choice. We can decide how much time we’ll take out of our lives to stress about things we can’t change.
Great, in-depth article.
Anne recently posted..Building Confidence Apps
I resigned to the idea: there’s no way I can escape stress, especially at work; so here’s what I’ve done: I have stickers on the walls, so when I look up from computer, I’d read 3 messages: breathe deep; smile, tomorrow it might be worse; just play the blonde and approve. I’ve also chosen some favorite (and optimistic) songs which I listen daily. Last, at dinner, I have a glass of wine to relax and I watch a good movie or some funny TV series.
Stacy recently posted..Haier HLP21N Pulsator 1-Cubic-Foot Portable Washer Review
Hey Stacy, I love your plan! Thanks so much for sharing – you’re a great example for the rest of us
My pleasure! The point is everybody should reward themselves at the end of the day with something that relaxes them because maybe a glass of wine isn’t a solution for everyone. During the day find something small that calms you, or find a confidant to talk for 2-3 minutes about your problem.
Stacy recently posted..Amana NFW7300WW Front Load Washer Review
In order for us to determine exactly our stressors, we should be more aware of the things that causes us to be stressed. I think a good way to do this is to write down those things or situations that makes us feel stressed once we notice them instead of just memorizing them.
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Marty,
Wow, very thorough excursion into the world of stress. You seem to have covered all the bases and kept it brief.
We think that stress is the natural way of being in today’s society. Bunk. Stress can be your emotions left out of control, the conversations in our head about a person, situation or thing. All well within our ability to affect.
I still think it’s tough being human. When I come back I want to be a cat in my house. Eat, poop, nap. Eat, play, nap. Eat, scratch, nap. No stress. Be happy, don’t worry. Time for a nap.
Happy 2012!
RICK
Rick Lelchuk recently posted..2012 – Wishing You A Year of Total Discomfort
Love the image conjured up by your description of life as a cat! I have a similar scenario for my little (alpha) dog Lucy. Thanks so much for sharing your usual insightful thoughts on this subject Rick – always appreciated. Happy New Year 2012 right back at ya!
After every break we should easy back into our daily routine, not dive straight into it at full speed. This makes the change more bearable and keeps the stress low. Tested method!
Stan recently posted..Haier HLP21N Pulsator Portable Washer Review
Well said Stan … it’s the most fundamental principle of transition. Thanks for sharing!
Twitter: donna_tribe
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What a wonderful post Marty. Stress is the major cause of so many diseasements. It is so important to identify our triggers. I am so glad you mentioned that. Expectations is another way to allow stress to flow. All of the above are excellent ways to pinpoint stress. I like each and every one of them. Thanks for posting this. People NEED this information.
Donna Merrill recently posted..Eliminate Email Overload In 10 Mins Or Less Per Day
Hey Donna, so glad you enjoyed the article. I admit I struggle a bit with the topic of expectations because I believe we should have great expectations for ourselves … it only becomes a problem when those expectations are based on wishful thinking rather than on a plan and well thought out action. Thanks so much for sharing!