Embrace Personal Values to Strengthen Life Purpose, Direction and Meaning
Send to KindleJust as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance. ~Brian Tracy
Have you ever experienced a moment in time when you felt that something was wrong or missing in your life, but you just couldn’t figure out what?
More often than not, that uncomfortable feeling is a message from your internal self trying to tell you you’re off balance somehow and living life by default rather than according to your personal values.
This feeling can be at the very least unnerving when we’ve never actually taken the time to become clear about what our core values are; but especially disturbing if we come to realize that over time values we once held dear have been suppressed, compromised or ignored completely.
Our values are important because they help determine our way of life, and represent our highest priorities. We each hold many values, some of which may change or evolve as we grow and reach different stages of life.
Let’s take a moment to look at a few examples of values.
ambition, competency, individuality, equality, integrity, service, responsibility, accuracy, respect, dedication, diversity, improvement, enjoyment/fun, loyalty, credibility, honesty, innovativeness, teamwork, excellence, accountability, empowerment, quality, efficiency, dignity, collaboration, stewardship, empathy, accomplishment, courage, wisdom, independence, security, challenge, influence, learning, compassion, friendliness, discipline/order, generosity, persistence, optimism, dependability, flexibility
Of course there are many more values; in fact I thought since I make the Islands my home it might be interesting to share with you a few Hawaiian values that are important to me.
- Aloha is often thought of as merely ‘hello’ or ‘goodbye’ by visitors to the Islands; but from a cultural standpoint it is so much more. It represents the unconditional extension of trust and friendship in which each person is important to every other person for collective existence.
- Ho`omau speaks to perseverance and endurance; to be unceasingly committed to achieving a goal or completing a difficult task.
- Po`okela is about striving for excellence … to excel, to surpass, to set your sights to the highest level of achievement.
- Kuleana is about viewing responsibility as a privilege and honor rather in pursuit of reward, because it is the right thing to do.
Clarifying Your Values
Without clarity of your personal values it becomes far too easy to let external demands control your life. When this happens you are left with feelings of discomfort and dissatisfaction, along with a growing restlessness around the need to change something, although you’re not sure what.
No one can identify your values for you … the only way is to invest the time to determine what values mean most to you. It can be done in a surprisingly short amount of focused time, but unfortunately many people will never get around to doing it because they tell themselves they’re just too busy with other things and their life is fine the way it is.
Reality Check
In workshops I often have attendees go through an exercise where they first identify their values, then state whether they believe they are living those values now. Most will enthusiastically say their priorities are in place and they are on right on track. Next we do an exercise where I have each participant make a list of the things they are spending their time on now. Finally we compare values to reality and in most cases the gap is wide enough to drive a truck through!
The bottom line is actually pretty clear, we’re either living a life by design, or we’re settling for good enough, which means living by default. The only way to make the shift from default to intentional living and create a more fulfilling life experience is to invest the time to clarify your values. Choose the values that are most important to you, the values you believe in and that define your character. Then live them visibly every day at work and at home.
Living your values is one of the most powerful tools available to you to help you be the person you want to be, and to help you accomplish your goals and create your ideal life.
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Mahalo!
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With right values we have a perfection vision. We stick to it…You know exactly where you are going even if you do not know exactly how you will get there just yet. Your vision must flow in your mind. It does not have obstacles. You know exactly where you are going. With no vision, your business becomes dull. It loses the sense of direction and you feel no passion. You become stressed out, burned out and… you quit. Your vision can affect your business success if the vision is not BIG ENOUGH! Values are our guidelines to get our vision come true!
Tatyana Gann recently posted..How to share love and create serious profits in your business!
Marty,
Great POST! Values is one of the most important things in our lives, but most people never sit down to figure out what is the most important value or values.
My Highest Value is: Purpose.
My Second Highest Value is: Freedom
I used to be a career counselor. People write down their values and priortize them. All is good. Then they turn around and make job and career decisions that absolutely don’t support their highest values, because of Money, or Prestige, or whatever.
Your quote by Brian Tracy is a good one. He’s and example of someone who actually lives his values. I had the honor of having lunch with Brian Tracy many years ago and he’s a great guy in real life, too, not just on his tapes and CD’s! LOL
~ Jupiter Jim
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Jupiter Jim recently posted..Thesis Tutorial: Create “Fat Footer” or Widgetized Footer
Marty,
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Such a lovely post that inspires us to look deeper within. At the top of my list is integrity, honesty, efficiency and enjoying life!
I like that you gave us a peek into the Hawaiian values.
Aloha.
Lynn
Lynn Jones recently posted..Why Garden?
Marty,
What a beautiful article! It made me feel so good reading it. I can now say Aloha and really know what it means.
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When you write of values, I think it is the core existence of our being. We need to identify our values and keep them true to ourselves. This makes us unmistakable people. What I mean by that is when we really know our values, we hold on to them and others see who we are. There is no hiding.
It is so important, like your workshop you write about, to make a list of your values. Assess them and see what they really mean to you.
Thanks so much for this “feel good” post you have written,
Donna
Donna Merrill recently posted..Mind State Change
We hear so much about what values we are “supposed” to have; which ones are “right” for us. And sometimes we get overwhelmed by thinking we have to have a particular value because someone told us we have to.
How much easier to simply be the person we are inside, and live the values that we honestly hold instead of pretending that our true selves are somehow not good enough. This is an excellent post, Marty, thank you for sharing it with us.
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Michael Shook recently posted..EFT Abundance Tapping
You are so right Michael … and who is responsibile for the decision to follow our own values? We are of course … which path we take in life always comes back to the choices we make
Thanks so much for taking the time to share – always appreciated.
Hi Marty, this is a beautiful post! One of my values has always been to have fun and for many years, I denied myself that, thinking I had to work hard until I achieved what I wanted, and then I could have fun! It wasn’t much fun for me or my family, hubby was always trying to get me away from my study.
And, it wasn’t until I started a business and met people who knew about personal growth and following your values, that I started having fun again! It was actually another lady in Hawaii who got me to see that I should start having fun again. I’ve been grateful to her ever since!
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Julieanne vanZyl recently posted..Review of Squeeze Page Creation Tools on Self-hosted WordPress blogs
Thanks Julieanne, I’m so glad you enjoyed the article, and thank you for sharing your personal experience with values … so glad you found fun in your life again! One thing locals here know how to do is have fun … I will never forget the first Business & Professional Women’s Conference I attended in Kauai … much to the dismay of hotel management, attendees brought in coolers and were barbecuing on lanais, hotel room doors left open as people strolled from room to room laughing and talking, others sitting on the floor in the hallway playing ukuleles. Definitely not your typical business conference
Marquita, what a great article. I love the values you shared from the culture of Hawaii. I took a values inventory earlier this year and came up with the following list for myself: 1. Spirit
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2. Vision/Clarity 3. Growth 4. Impact 5. Balance 6. Love/Connection7. Health 8. Order. It helps to review those periodically and compare them to a) how I’m spending my time and b) what my goals are, to make sure everything is aligned.
Steve Borgman recently posted..Personal Development Activities For Those Who Want to Change
Hey Steve, thank you so much for share your personal values list. Knowing how organized and dedicated you are I am not at all surprised to learn of your process to clarify values for yourself
I always appreciate your thoughtful insight, and I look forward to reading your new article!
Marty,
I love the Hawaiian values. We have all heard the word Aloha but you have just provided such a deeper and more powerful meaning. As we say hello we are extending unconditional trust and friendship. Imagine if we continued to extend that toward everyone we meet for the first time and to all of those people we meet over and over again, including and especially our most intimate partner, our children, parents, neighbors, etc.
I definitely have the value of Ho`omau, persistence, as well as Po`okela, striving for excellence. The one I sometimes struggle with is Kuleana, responsibility seen as a privilege. For me, sometimes, responsibility becomes a burden rather than a sense of privilege. It is a matter of making a decision and engaging others in the process.
Warmly,
Dr. Erica
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Erica Goodstone recently posted..Overcoming Adversity – What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Welcome back Dr. Erica, I’m so glad you enjoyed the article and Hawaiian values I shared. I agree Kuleana is a challenge; Po’okela on the other hand touches a special place in my heart because for the 10 years I worked at “The Most Hawaiian Hotel” we lived that value every day, with everything we did. Thanks so much for taking the time to share
Values, yes we sometimes forget how important they are and how we are perceived. I knew someone that would constantly fix the missing part in her life by constantly shopping. She would buy stuff just to fill the void. Buying stuff that made no sense at all. Watching her gave me a great opportunity to see myself in a different light. I didn’t need those fixes to comfort myself, I didn’t need to buy people stuff to be valued. It is sad to see people waste their lives on such frivolous madness to be liked. It is not surprising she had high blood pressure and was a control freak.
Her insanity made me calmer, kind of funny how things actually get interpreted when you see behavior in someone else.
Great post and I learned a little about your culture.
Mary
Mary Stephenson recently posted..The Slow Destruction of Our Self-Esteem
Values are the love song our soul loves to sing.
You’ve beautifully displayed the invaluable impressions that our values hold for our lives, Marty. I loved reading this and learning the various Hawaiian values and their meanings. Beautiful post. Thank you.
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Deone Higgs recently posted..The True Reasons to Tell the Truth and Nothing but the Truth
Oh my Deone, you are a romantic at heart aren’t you
I love your comment about “values are the love song our soul loves to sing.” Thanks so much for taking the time to share your thoughts; you always bring value to the conversation 
I am a hopeless romantic indeed, Marty. I’m Guilty as charged.
))
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Deone Higgs recently posted..The True Reasons to Tell the Truth and Nothing but the Truth
We get signals in our life and, all too often, we misread them. You are so right, Marquita, in that the uncomfortable feeling we have is one of those signals. Rather than digging deep into the cause of that uneasy feeling, we go buy something or jump to another job or …. Instead, we need to go deep and determine the cause. Essential advice here in your post! Thanks. Jon
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Jon Mertz recently posted..Go Hard on the Issue, Soft on the Person – 5 Leadership Ideas
Great observation Jon – you are so right about our tendency to cover up or look for a quick fix rather than face our uncomfortable issues. So glad you found value in the article, and always appreciate your valuable insights!
Make your values, including, your new values, the cornerstone of your life. Contemplate them deeply and see that they fill all aspects of your life and being.