How to Regain Your Self-Confidence
Gaining self-confidence is one thing, getting your confidence back after a personal or professional disaster (either real or perceived) is a substantially different situation.
There are many instances in life where your confidence is hit hard . . . divorce, being fired from a job or just making a really public mistake, just to name a few. Sometimes you overcome life’s hardness, sometimes you get overwhelmed. Sometimes your courage and confidence sees you through, but sometimes your self-confidence really takes a beating.
Here are four ways to help you begin regaining your self-confidence.
Whatever experience or situation that caused you to lose your confidence needn’t have been your fault for you to be carrying around a load of embarrassment or guilt. It’s human nature to feel that somehow you should have known, or been able to prevent the situation.
- Best case scenario, there was no way you could have predicted what happened, if you could accurately predict life, you’d be rich and famous and probably wouldn’t care if you missed one or two calls. Get over yourself and move on.
- Worst case scenario, no doubt about it you were at fault. Learn from the experience, become a better person for it, forgive yourself and move on.
Whichever the case, chance are good whatever happened is not as important as the impact it has had on you, rather the impact that you let the problem create for you. In life pain is inevitable but suffering is optional, and self-pity is very addictive and capable of destroying lives. It’s purely your choice, and whether you choose to bounce back or suffer is entirely your prerogative. Remember that “nobody can hurt you without your consent.”
Keep a Personal Journal
Journal every day and be sure to list your positive accomplishments for the day. Writing down your accomplishments – no matter how small – will reinforce into your subconscious that you are capable of handling the tasks you are pursuing.
If something did not go as planned, instead of being hard on yourself, write down what you learned from the experience. This will reinforce into your subconscious that failure is not negative and much can be learned from it to guide you to success.
Review Your Accomplishments
Reviewing and visualizing your accomplishments will increase your self-confidence. Make your visualization as vivid as possible; remember as many details as you can, as if that past experience were happening right now. As you do so, you’ll notice that feeling of self-assurance coming back strong and you’ll become familiar with it again.
Fake It Till You Make It
Feelings influence behavior. Put on a big smile, lift your head and believe you are a self-assured, confident person. Remember, other people don’t know about your internal securities unless you tell them, so go ahead and pretend, and before you know it you’ll begin to feel better, and before long much more confident.
Cultivate the courage to embrace whatever is unfolding in your life and whatever cranky, hating feelings you may feel about it. Hold your precious self with tender compassion as you do. ~Unknown Author
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