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The Value of Expressing Praise, Admiration and Appreciation

2013 January 24
by Marquita Herald

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ~William Ward

thankyouWhen was the last time you were told what a wonderful person you are, or what a great job you’ve done – you know, like in actual words? If you’re having a tough time remembering, trust me, you are not alone.

Being on the receiving end of praise, admiration and appreciation is one of the most heartfelt ways of recognizing that you are truly valued; be it by your partner, parents, siblings, colleagues, friends or supervisors in work.

Of course the people in our lives often do appreciate and value us, it’s just that life being the hectic journey that it is, we so often take each other for granted, or feel uncomfortable expressing our appreciation in words.

Have you ever considered asking for that thank you? How often do you express appreciation?

Let’s try looking at this from a slightly different perspective.

When was the last time you told someone what a wonderful person they have been, or what a great job they have done?

In this deceptively simple, thought provoking 3-minute talk, Dr. Laura Trice reflects on the power of the magic words “thank you” — to deepen a friendship, to repair a bond, to make sure another person knows what they mean to you.

 

 

What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it – would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have. ~Ralph Marston

Dr. Laura Trice is a therapist and coach has created a therapeutic program called Writing in Recovery that uses creative skills such as journaling and music to help people develop better self-awareness and set goals. She’s taught this program at such well-known clinics as Betty Ford and Promises. She’s the author of the book How to Work Any 12-Step Program. To learn more about Dr. Trice please visit her website at http://www.drlauramd.com/

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23 Responses
  1. February 16, 2013

    Asking to be thanked? It does sound odd, even like the TED speaker shared, yet valuable. I have three daughters, all grown now. And the middle one was always good even as a young child to express what she needed emotionally, like “I need to be hugged.”

    I also thought about that wonderful viral video called “Validation.” Saying “thank you” is another way of validating people.
    Richard recently posted..FriendsMy Profile

  2. February 7, 2013

    Hi Marty,

    thank you for this post and the video, very inspiring!

    Asking for what we need and about what others need is such a good suggestion.

    We may think we are giving what the other need, but unless it is in their ‘love-language’ it may not be received the way we expected it.

    Since the world is our mirror, when we find things to appreciate in others we are also appreciating ourselves.

    Thanks again!
    Love and Light
    Yorinda
    Yorinda recently posted..Making Changes and the Limbic LagMy Profile

  3. February 5, 2013

    It enlightens people and make them feel appreciated. Plus, you never who you’re helping, right? Who knows, maybe your good words are actually saving someone’s life right now. Thanks for sharing this with us!

  4. Arianne permalink
    February 4, 2013

    Lovely share! Saying thank you to people I meet and deal with is a habit for me. It’s my way of expressing my appreciation to even the little favors or things they do for me. I honestly don’t mind if a person won’t thank me, but I always tell myself that even if some people don’t know how to express gratitude, I should not be like them. But, that’s just me.

  5. February 3, 2013

    Everyone wants to be praised. Well, I definitely would want to. It is always good for the ears to hear praises, admirations and gratitudes.

  6. February 2, 2013

    Loved the post!!! Showing gratitude and showering some words of praises indeed makes the other person feel good. If you feel something nice for someone, it is always better to express it in their presence by acknowledging them. A simple thanks can work wonders.Thanks for the share.

  7. February 1, 2013

    Saying Thankyou could mean a lot to someone and it shows one’s own modest character. Great share.
    Fatima recently posted..Using Live Tiles in Windows 8My Profile

  8. January 30, 2013

    Saying thank you is something that I have gotten used to these days. It started when an inspiring person gave me an advice to thank everyone who has given or done something good to you, even for the most little gestures. It makes a person feel appreciated and recognized. And the more you express gratitude towards something, the more blessings are likely to come to you. THANK YOU for sharing this lovely post!
    Kristine recently posted..Architecture and nature co-existing happily together – is it possible?My Profile

  9. January 30, 2013

    This gesture will definitely uplift someone’s soul. Thanks for sharing! I agree, we should make this world a brighter and more friendly place to live in.

  10. January 28, 2013

    Thank You – two words that can change the world. If only everyone realized this, we’d all live in abundance:-) What a great reminder this is to be grateful and to declare this gratitude as often as possible. I started a gratitude jar this year. I am going to add this wonderful post to it today:-)

  11. January 27, 2013

    Hi Marquita,

    Thank You again for a wonderful article. We all love to be appreciated and it is so important to let people know just how much they mean to you. As a health practitioner, I help people every day and sometimes it can be challenging when a client doesn’t respond as expected ( we are unique so this is life). However, I take my work seriously and I am responsive to the family etc.

    When they thank me for my help and attention, it makes it all worthwhile and encourages me to keep going.

    Your article reminds me to thank people around me every day and I will make a special effort this week to recognize people as I go about my days.

    Clare
    Clare recently posted..People are Awesome – This video is an absolute Must-See!!My Profile

  12. January 27, 2013

    Hi Marty, what would you like to be thanked for?
    I’d like to thank you for sharing such amazing insights here, week in, week out. For sharing your books, your knowledge and your passion for self improvement in a positive way.
    Sarah Arrow recently posted..Zero To Social MediaMy Profile

  13. January 27, 2013

    It really feels good to be appreciative of one’s deed. Saying “thank you” is very simple yet creates a big impact to whom you have said it. It inspires people to do more kind things.
    Sarah Park recently posted..How to Buy a CondoMy Profile

  14. January 26, 2013

    Sometimes I would hear my mom tell others how proud she was of me, but she never told me. She never praised me to my face. I don’t remember if I actually came right out and asked her why, but she told me one day that if she did praise me, she was afraid it would go to my head. I wish I could say it was enough to know she WAS proud of me, but there was always that uncertainty because she so often criticized.

    Praising and thanking others, even my own husband and children, does not come easily to me… I have to make a conscious effort… but it’s partly because of my reserved personality. Most of my children are naturally reserved too, so I know it is doubly important to voice my thanks and praise to them.

    Willena
    Willena Flewelling recently posted..New Twist on GamificationMy Profile

  15. January 26, 2013

    We are social creatures. We can not live without others. We live with other creatures, natures and environment. We must respect them and keep a good relationship with whoever and whatever. Human beings expressing their gratitutudes by saying : Thank you. I am very happy if somebody says this to me. It means I am useful and may be has a meaning for others. Indeed we must help each other and have mutual cooperation. Thank you for sharing this good topics.
    Heru Prasetyono recently posted..Registration for 2013 – JulieHedlund.comMy Profile

  16. January 26, 2013

    We often wound our soles with harsh words spoken with little forethought, Marty.

    But we are wounded as much, sometimes more, by words never spoken. When the opportunity is past, we realize we have lost out on a wonderful chance to make someone else’s life easier, lighter and more rewarding. Despite the gifts they’ve given us, we’ve chosen to carelessly walk away silently, only to regret later, when it’s too late.

    How easily we could have expressed our gratitude when the occasion arose, and how very difficult it is to accept and overcome that loss.

    Grasp the opportunity to express your gratitude every day. Make it the center of your life, and you will reap great rewards that you could never even contemplate.
    David Merrill 101 recently posted..Keeping Pace With Online CommunicationsMy Profile

  17. January 26, 2013

    Marquita,
    well, this was unique for me… I never though of asking others what I would like to be thanked for… for ages I always though that people should know when they have to say “Thank You” to me… wow, what a nice thing to know!!!

    I usually say thank you often.. but never thought that when I say thank you for certain things I may have missed to say thank you for what the person truly feel like to HEAR IT from me or others..
    WOW… this is wonderful.. I will put into practice right now.
    Thanks for sharing the 3 minutes video from the doctor.. she truly explain it so simply and in short..

    Thanks so much again.

    THANK YOU for doing such a great job in writing special articles like this Marquita :-0
    nickc
    Nick Catricala recently posted..Lost Direction 2My Profile

  18. January 26, 2013

    To be honest I think this was one of several driving factors for my retirement from the Army. People in the circles I was a part of became more demanding of my time. And when I gave it to them, it treated more like it was expected, versus given. The climate in the military now is “do on to others, before they do unto you” and that’s really sad. Because there are a lot of good Officers and NCO’s out there who are getting used by those in around them, not getting the proper recognition they deserve.
    Clint Butler recently posted..The Perfect SEO Strategy For 2013My Profile

  19. January 26, 2013

    Marty,

    I actually feel appreciated every time you leave a comment on my blog and I hope you feel the same when I leave one on yours.

    I often wonder what my father truly thought of me. I know he loved me and would do anything for me, but I, like the example on the TED Talk, still yearn to hear his words of praise. And, it’s not possible as he’s been gone for many years.

    So, finding out what others need in the area of acknowledgement makes a whole lot of sense.

    Thanks, Marty, for another thought provoking, action taking post.

    You are an important part of my blog world.

    RICK
    Rick Lelchuk recently posted..Fear: Is It Your Boogie Monster?My Profile

  20. January 26, 2013

    Its great to give appreciation to people as well as receive it, it gives you a nice feeling and lets you know there are some lovely people out in the world!!

    Thank you,
    Regards, Jessica.
    Jessica vanZyl recently posted..The ‘Fake’ STONES Get Into TroubleMy Profile

  21. January 24, 2013

    Hi Marty,

    I’m always mindful of saying thank you. If I’m in a diner for breakfast I look into my waitress’s eyes and thank her from my heart because she served me and needs to be thanked. I will always take note of what she is wearing and compliment her to.

    I walk the path of gratefulness and thank God every day for things and I also thank those all the time who I encounter that have helped me in even the smallest way.

    I do get a lot of thank yous! My clients sometimes praise me. That is where I get uncomfortable, the praise thing! When I’m helping a client and they go beyond the thank you and go into the praise, I say to them to praise yourself….you chose to take a step toward change.

    But that’s just me!

    Donna
    Donna Merrill recently posted..Things Go WrongMy Profile

  22. January 24, 2013

    Hi Marquita:

    This video really got me thinking. I know for myself I am a lot better at giving praise than asking for it. It just seems weird for me to ask someone for their praise. Am I alone on this? :)

    I liked what speaker had to say about why we are hesitant to do it (i.e. when we do we are sharing our insecurities). That’s makes sense to me but I am still wrestling with asking someone for their praise.

    Thanks for the thought-provoking post!
    Kevin
    Kevin Martineau recently posted..7 ways to restore sanity to your scheduleMy Profile

  23. January 24, 2013

    Hey Marty,

    Well, you know from my post today that I said thank you to a very special person who went out of his way to help me in my time of need. I’ve actually been thanking him probably every single day for the help he provided so he definitely knows how much I appreciate him.

    Just yesterday my Mom told me how much she appreciates me and thanked me for everything I do for her. We moved her next door to me this past August so she and I do everything together.

    I always tell people thank you and how much I appreciate them. Those are words that are always spoken in my life. I have a lot of people now telling me the same thing.

    Those two little words will definitely go a long way and I too wrote a post about it probably two years ago now. Very important indeed.

    ~Adrienne
    Adrienne recently posted..My Holy Water Came Too LateMy Profile

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