Until You Value Yourself, You Won’t Value Your Time
Send to KindleIt is Impossible to Overstate the Value of a Day
Finding enough time in a day to fit everything into our busy lives remains a hot topic for us all.
Thousands of pages have been written about time management – books, reports, articles, and even video. And at any given time there are hundreds of people giving time management workshops to packed rooms, and yet . . . many of us either jump from one system to another unable to find something that ‘works’ or end up avoiding implementing any sort of time management system into our world at all.
Of course there are many reasons for experiencing a time-deprived life, some within our control, others not so much. But there is one underlying reality that affects everything we do and every choice we make …
If you don’t respect the value of your time it’s really hard to get anyone else to do the same. ~Terry Bean
Just as we need to truly appreciate ourselves in order to appreciate others, we need to value ourselves, in order to value our time. When you value yourself, you are far more likely to use your time wisely to live in the present moment and do the work necessary to achieve the things you care about most.
So what’s the solution?
The simple truth is that if you are feeling like your life’s not your own it’s because up to now you have been relinquishing your power to control your time to others. They may not consciously realize it, probably didn’t intend it … and they certainly didn’t come by it naturally. You had to give it to them. So now you have to exercise your power to take it back.
You can begin by …
Recognizing that you are in control: While we all have at least a few time commitments which really are outside our control (perhaps a health issue, a difficult family situation or a job you hate but fear leaving because of the economy), in most cases, we have a lot more power than we realize.
Establish how you’re spending time now: Simplify and consolidate. If you haven’t done so already, take an inventory of your schedule and commitments. Okay, I know most of us really hate this kind of thing, but it’s pretty difficult to take back control of your time if you aren’t clear about how you’re spending it now.
Ask yourself the purpose of each activity and evaluate whether or not it really matters to you, if it’s an obligation, or if it’s simply a habit. Choose whether or not you need to continue each one, or if you should set it aside. In the case of obligations, look for a way to either make the best of it or relinquish it once and for all.
The essence of this exercise is to allow you to see the big picture of how you’ve been spending your time up to now so that you can step back and, as the old saying goes, see the forest for the trees. For example, one problem may be that you always end up working late – but the real question is w-h-y? Is it really that you’ve got way too much to do, or because you’re bad at prioritizing and staying on task during the day?
I used to share an office with a manager who frequently worked late, and often whined to anyone who would listen that she was sure it was because her workload must be heavier than everyone else’s. Hum, let’s take a look. A typical day for Sharon (not her real name of course) began when she arrived sometime between 9-9:30 am. (Everyone else arrived between 7:30/8am). During the day Sharon had lengthy personal telephone conversations, liked to spend time socializing with employees in other areas, and a 2 hour lunch was not uncommon. Sharon was a hard worker once she finally settled at her desk later in the day. In fact she normally hit her stride actually ‘working’ between 3-5pm which left her at her desk until at least 8pm playing “catch-up.”
Rather than the amount of work, Sharon’s real problem was the poor choices she made each day about how to use her time.
Avoid operating under the “I must be important because I’m so busy” illusion: After all, if you’re busy, people need you, right? One of our greatest needs is to feel wanted, so sometimes we take on more than we can realistically handle in a misguided effort to build self-esteem. But busy isn’t the same as productive or meaningful.
Get clear on what it is you really want in life: For most of us this is the hardest thing to do because we simply are not comfortable thinking about our own wants and desires … somehow it feels egotistical or selfish to spend time focusing on what WE want, let alone what will result in a happy and fulfilling life.
Far more important than ANY system, gadgets or tools you may be tempted to use to manage your time, you need to decide once and for all what really matters to you most and what you want your ideal life to look like.
This vision, in whatever format works best for you, will serve as your anchor as you establish your highest priorities, from which you will set your goals, and from this point begin making the important choices about how to effectively use your time on a daily basis.
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. ~Ben Stein
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Mahalo!
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Hi Marquita, in regard to my online business, the worst thing I do with my time, is to spend hours and hours (sometimes all day) doing something I could’ve paid someone else to do in an hour or less. For example, I used to spend hours learning and trying to make an image or banner look great. It nearly always ended up looking terrible!
A couple of years ago, I found someone who’s a creative and competent graphics person, and so now I ask him to do all my graphics for me. So glad I finally started to value myself, so I value my time a lot more.
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Julieanne vanZyl recently posted..Create Landing Pages on your Blog with a Plugin
This post reminded me of the movie by Justin Timberlake. Time is really important for people. We need it to continue living hence, we must take every moment essentially by spending each unit of it for productive purposes.
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Jason Homes recently posted..7 Most Awful First-Time Homebuyer Mistakes
Time is running fast and so life is too. Every day should be spent with personal happiness even for simple reasons. We should sometimes pause for a while and cheer ourselves. This is a good way to rejuvenate thyself.
Hi Marty! I enjoyed reading your article. Yes, I do believe we fall into the trap of what “Sharon” does and end up trying to catch up all the work we had missed doing. Thank you for reminding us that we are in control of our lives and that we should take control. I agree with you that we should start evaluating how we use our time and start removing the unnecessary things that we do and concentrate on the more important tasks at hand. When we accomplish more we gain a more satisfying feeling and we learn to value ourself and our time even more.
I’m too much like Sharon for my own good… or my own comfort. Simplify and consolidate… I am on a constant quest for it.
I’ve seen a lot of people do just what you said at the beginning of your post. They find a system or a company they are sure will work, but before many months have passed they have skipped on to the next thing and the next and the next. NO system is perfect. An important part of simplifying and consolidating, I believe, is to choose one you like and stick with it! Don’t even think of quitting unless you have a REALLY good reason to. Over time, and with personal growth, you will be surprised at how well it “works”.
Willena Flewelling
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Willena Flewelling recently posted..May 1, 1882
Welcome back Willena! You are so right about the issue of jumping from one thing to the next. I read somewhere that the typical online marketer will ‘try’ as many as 15 to 25 different systems … that would make me crazy! How can anyone possibly know what really work without giving it time. Of course it can also be a problem never knowing when it really is time to move on – that seems to be my issue, stubborn beyond all reason at times
I loved the example you used about ‘Sharon’. That’s true of so many people. Being productive with your time is about good management and good planning. We see it more because we work online. There are so many distractions. The only way I get through the day feeling like I’ve done some work is by having a time table and sticking to it.
Great post.
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Anne recently posted..Confident Quotes For Happiness
Hey Anne, so glad you enjoyed the article and thanks for taking the time to contribute to the conversation – always appreciated! Loved your article by the way – and I can really relate to the quote about being patient with other peoples mistakes. Seems like I’ve been on a role lately myself
Thank you, Marquitta, for this great post.
The example you are giving shows how someone easily can ‘loose track of time’.
Valuing our time and the way we spend it is important and the habits we establish around that.
Doug recently posted..Mirror Mirror gets 1,000 views on Youtube
Hey Doug – thanks so much, really glad you enjoyed the article – and congratulations on the success of the video Mirror Mirror. I’ve seen it and it’s excellent!
Beautiful post Marty,
I totally relate to the time spet on my work and me feeling more important because I work a lot, have so many things sorted out and fat.
When lately I realsed tis was an illusion to make me feel good I decided to change the way I work for example I’m working on projects vs endless to do lists, with a purpose and a goal I see every day on my xl file.
I also use a vision board before big projects;)
Thanks for this share!
So glad you enjoyed the article Patricia and thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. Always appreciated!
Marty,
Great point! Do we value ourselves and thus our time? It’s like Hillel the Elder said, “”If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am ‘I’?” “If not now, when?”
Many of us are being too much to and for too many. And, taking on more than one can handle is just plain silly. I know, it’s what I do until I reel myself in.
Like you said, simplify and consolidate. I’d like to add to that one – delegate. Get it off your plate and on to someone else’s.
How many things can you eliminate to streamline your life? I’ve got some time today (LOL) I think I’ll take a real close look at it.
Thanks, Marty, for inspiring me to look at the value of my time here on the planet!
In Clarity and Success,
RICK
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Rick Lelchuk recently posted..Life On Your Terms
Welcome back Rick! So glad you enjoyed the article and thanks for bringing up your point about delegating. I encourage others to do it, and yet I’m so bad about it myself. Working on changing that right now as a matter of fact
Truly thought provoking blog post and I appreciate it much! From the last two months I was just working all the time juggling between home and work and not taking time for myself. It was at this moment that my husband made me realize what a big mistake I was doing by ignoring myself. I started stealing time by expediting my tasks. I really felt life is worth living if we try to manage things that are under our control.
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Tammy Guise recently posted..Choosing the right wheatgrass juicer
Welcome Tammy! I’m so glad you enjoyed the article and thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts! Sounds like your husband is a pretty smart guy