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What is the Most Valuable Lesson You Learned about Yourself this Year?

2012 December 27

Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn’t what you get for it, but what you become for it. Shake things up today! Be You…Be Free…Share. ~Steve Maraboli

Life Lessons“I’m so ready for this year to be over!” Sound familiar? Every year there are far too many people who utter these words – to me this is one of the saddest commentaries about the quality of the life one is living.

Case in point,”#2012regrets” is trending on Twitter as I write this.

We so often rank the quality of our years by the BIG accomplishments and life changing events and, for some, that includes world news and tabloid headlines that we have no control over whatsoever. In the process of what we view as moving on with life and putting the “bad stuff” behind us, we all too often leave behind many of the important accomplishments and lessons we’ve learned during the year … simply because they weren’t big enough for us to notice.

How would you answer this question …

What was the most valuable lesson you learned about yourself this year?

While you give that question some thought, I’ve asked a few virtual friends to share their most valuable life lessons, big and small, from 2012.

Anne Lyken-Garner – Get Confidence

I’ve been unwell since August this year, and one thing this experience has taught me is that I need to set aside time for myself. Health is important and everything else suffers if you don’t have it.

Rick Lelchuk – Inspiring Transitions

I realized this year that I’ve allowed my ambition to cloud my ability to be present. In other words, having set my sights on certain goals (mostly financial) I blocked out day-to-day enjoyment as I continued to strive to achieve my financial goals.

My thinking has been when I have $X in the bank then I can do what I want and enjoy my life. Bull, the time to enjoy my life is right now, regardless of the goals I have set for myself, regardless of my bank balance. It’s a matter of what’s important to me today, right now; what is the priority. The biggest challenge with this is remembering it’s about being in the moment, not all about having the reward.

Chris Farrell – Chris Farrell Membership

My favorite life lesson this year is: E + R = O

I learned this from Jack Canfield. It means that the EVENTS in our life – plus how we RESPOND to them – determine our OUTCOME. We often can NOT control events. But we DO have 100% control over how we RESPOND to them.

Chris Brogan –

I’ve learned that I have no enemies.

David Harman – Success Mindset for Home Business Entrepreneurs

I’ve learned that it’s OK to be afraid as long as it doesn’t stop me from taking action. Everyone is afraid when faced with something new or a change. I’ll only achieve success if I advance and conquer the unknown. In fact, if I’m not feeling fearful I have to question whether I am in fact progressing!

Nancy Newnan and Robert Shaw – Couchesthentics 

This year we learned that we have what it takes to preserver to achieve goals that really matter.

Mid-year, my husband put the finishing touches on an exercise book he had been working on for well over 2 years, and needed a model to be photographed for each exercise to bring the book to completion. Even though we both work full time at other jobs, we made an agreement to set aside a half hour several nights each week until we had the photos done. While it wasn’t easy, because we were both tired from working all day, it paid off and on October 6th we uploaded the final book to

Waiting for the first proof of the book was like a kid waiting for his first bicycle at Christmas. He checked the mail box every day. And when it finally arrived we both jumped up and down and hugged each other.

Steve Borgman – Personal Success Factors

One of the most important lessons I learned this year has to do with what Darren Hardy, editor of Success Magazine, calls the compound effect.

By taking seven habits I consider most important in my life, and tracking them daily on irunurun I’ve made consistent progress in the most important areas of my life. These result areas include spirituality, finances, relationships, health, and nutrition. It’s the small things done daily that can make the biggest difference.

Donna Merrill – Donna Merrill Tribe

When you run your own business, there are so many parts to do, that it’s far too easy to get frustrated, confused, behind on work, or just plain give up!

This year I learned how to focus on a task without my mind wandering to something else. It wasn’t easy, but I was so determined to do it. I used a self-hypnosis download to reinforce my mindset. Now I can go from one task to another, totally focused, unstoppable, and get more done.

Nathalie Villeneuve – The Art of Living Out Loud 

The most valuable lesson I learned about myself this year is that in order for me to have the life and the business I absolutely love, I had to stop (really stop) and think about where I was (my awareness) and where I wanted to go (towards my bright future). I kept trying to find easy “fixes” and simple answers to more abundance and more success … they don’t exist. What I discovered is that I am strong and willing to embrace the more complex aspects of my life, and trust that I have what it takes to create a magnificent future for me and my family.

There will be a few times in your life when all your instincts will tell you to do something, something that defies logic, upsets your plans, and may seem crazy to others. When that happens, you do it. Listen to your instincts and ignore everything else. Ignore logic, ignore the odds, ignore the complications, and just go for it. ~Judith McNaught

My most valuable life lesson this year …

This year I learned to trust my instincts.  I am a researcher by nature, and whenever faced with a problem I do what comes naturally – I look for a corresponding scientific study to support my decision. YAWN! Of course, given the things I write about, research is important, but this year I learned that sometimes you really do have to just get quiet and trust that small voice in your head to come up with the best direction for you.

So that about you? What is the most valuable lesson you learned about yourself this year?

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29 Responses
  1. January 19, 2013

    Hi Marty,

    Thanks to the blogging community. I was led from one blogger to another through the wonders of CommentLuv :)

    You have provided me with a lot more quality blogs to visit. Appreciation from my heart!

    For me, the most valuable lesson that I have learned is that technology was not as scary as I thought. When we tackle one SMALL task at a time, we can jump through even the toughest hurdle.

    I am glad to hear that you have learned to trust your instincts more. As soon as I was relaxed and trusting the process, I experienced the path of least resistance. Supportive friends appeared. Things that I needed appeared. Awesome feeling!

    May 2013 be the Best Year in your life, Marty!

    Viola The Business Mum
    Viola Tam recently posted..Stay at Home Mum – Why Network Marketing?My Profile

  2. January 13, 2013

    Its not just the last year but last few years of my life that have taught me a illuminating lesson . I have realized that happiness is a choice , when things are not going my way I have the full control to change things to make myself happy . I have learned to fight hard .

  3. January 9, 2013

    Looking back at 2012 I have done quite a lot of things I’m definitely proud of. In the long run, I thing 2012 is a productive year and 2013 will be better. Happy New Year to you and everyone reading!

  4. January 8, 2013

    I guess the most valuable lesson I’ve learned in the past year is the importance of family. With everything that has happened, family is the only people we have left.

  5. January 7, 2013

    Speaking of #2012Regrets, I regret losing some people I really cared for in the past year, but hey… if one door closes, another one opens.

  6. January 7, 2013

    To answer the title, I have learned that things are not always what they seem and at the end of the day we all have to make an effort and put ourselves out there.
    Kelly recently posted..Glasgow to Edinburgh RemovalsMy Profile

  7. Nancy Newnan permalink
    January 7, 2013

    Thanks for the great post. I always know I can count on great content from you!

    And a big “Mahalo” for including my 2012 Lesson!


    (Revised for correct Twitter account)

  8. Nathalie Villeneuve
    January 5, 2013

    What an awesome post Marti…It’s so incredibly empowering to read what other people have learned in a year. It was also a great exercise for me to put it down on paper. We make considerable leaps when we seriously asks ourselves the right questions. This was a very powerful question indeed and I am glad you let me express it inside your fabulous blog! You have a fabulous following and YOU my dear are a fabulous Lady! Love ya!

    ~ Nathalie
    Nathalie Villeneuve recently posted..Meghann Got Her White Christmas After All!My Profile

  9. Steve Borgman
    January 1, 2013

    Thank you, Marquita, for including all these great lessons. I appreciated Rick Lelchuk’s lesson about not letting ambition cloud the ability to Be Present for the miracle we call life. I also appreciate Dr. Erica’s lesson that dreams take hard work and perseverance.

  10. December 30, 2012

    Hi Marquita,

    Thanks for sharing some excellent blog posts. This year I learned that I am a very strong person. I’ve had several huge transitions take place and when I reflect back on how I handled each situation, I’m quite proud of myself. I was under great pressure to not move in a particular direction, but I resisted. I persevered to move in the direction I prefer instead of pleasing others. This year has been a huge game change in every aspect of my life.

    I have to attribute my transition to engaging myself with positive, uplifting experiences, events, and people. Recently I commented on Jim Lander’s blog that I got rid of my television (2 years ago). I think that decision was also a big factor because it eliminated a lot of unnecessary negativity. I also realized I have grown past the stage of worrying about what other people think and I’m finally relaxing and enjoying that I am transparent in my dealings and conducting my life the way I choose. It’s been awesome!

    I kept track of my business accomplishments this year and I printed them out after reading your post. I was quite shocked to see all of them listed for the whole year of 2012! I’ve had many financial successes, along with some “not so successful” but I’m overall, I’m winning! Keeping track helps to go into the next year by knowing what I need to do to continue getting closer to my goals. It seem this year was the year I made the most progress and I did it in leaps! I really believe “My Time Has Come” will be reality for me in 2013! This post which included other articles was very inspirational…as usual Marquita! I wish you a prosperous and wonderful 2013!

    Raena Lynn
    Raena Lynn recently posted..The good stuff is still good.My Profile

  11. December 30, 2012

    What a lovely post…I have learned that I am powerful beyond what I tell myself and yet I used to accept this when I was younger, and the last few years I let emotions take over…so learned too that emotions are not high vibration something to transcend as we, I, journey into oneness…no more atoning, just oneness! Happy New Year Marquita!
    Sarupa Shah recently posted..31 Money affirmationsMy Profile

  12. December 30, 2012

    Hi Marquita -

    Just turn on the news and we’re filled with “Fiscal Cliff” and “End of the World” as well as “Tragic shootings” and weather related disasters. It’s easy to fall into the negative vortex.

    Take things day by day, stay positive, and never give up. Sounds simple, not always easy to practice, but it works.

    I wish you nothing but the best in 2013. Looking forward to great year. :)

    Steven Hughes recently posted..Get Twitter Followers: Execution and ToolsMy Profile

  13. December 30, 2012

    Really nice inspiration here, Marquita. It’s fascinating to get the different perspectives of people. This past year for me feels like “a mess” when I look back to think about it. It was difficult, crazy, stressful, frantic, disjointed… Thinking about it even feels sort of hazy. But the most relevant and meaningful message came to me just this week when I learned one of my family members had unexpectedly passed away. It was so shocking that it really jolted me out of my fog and I thought wow, all that stuff… all that “stress” and busy-ness and all that craziness that seemed so immersive is really so inconsequential. How we spend our time and who we spend it with is something we should never take for granted and everything we do should be with purpose and mindfulness. I really feel compelled to be sure that what I’m doing and working toward are meaningful – and also balanced with the other important things in my life. It’s easy to forget when you’re lost in the daily grind.
    Carol Lynn recently posted..Fundamental Local SEO For Small BusinessesMy Profile

  14. December 30, 2012

    My most valuable lesson was focusing and getting back on track with my health. I have lost weight, feel more positive, and have even buckled down on my clientele when I have been letting some of them really walk over me.

    I am looking forward to the next year, but really, it is but a number… everyday is a learning and growing experience.
    Nile recently posted..Graphic: Inspiration Is All Around YouMy Profile

  15. December 30, 2012

    I’ve learned how easily and quickly even the good things in life can crowd out my real purpose for being here. And I’ve learned what I am really here to do, and how to go about achieving my goals.
    Willena Flewelling recently posted..December ReflectionsMy Profile

  16. December 29, 2012


    I learned two really valuable lessons this year, One to trust in myself and my abilities in building my new online business. Doing this has allowed me to build a business that really reflects my passion for holistic healing and gives me the opportunity every day to know that I am making a difference in helping others to heal and feel better.

    The second lesson I learned this year is to appreciate both the good and the negative things that have happened to me because both provide the opportunity to learn and grow from the experience. In the past when bad things or setbacks happened in my life I will let them get me down but now I realize that everything that happens in your life is a chance for you to learn and to benefit from the experience.

    I look forward to seeing what 2013 has in store for all of us and to learning more from you!
    Shelley Alexander recently posted..Fermented Purple Cabbage and Orange SauerkrautMy Profile

  17. December 29, 2012

    I can say that I woke up a lot this year!! I don’t have any regrets, I did lots… for me.. I had best get on with staying awake ( aware) in my life so that I can accomplishing that which I dream of! What great question!
    Holly recently posted..Do You Include Balance Into Your Workouts?My Profile

  18. December 29, 2012

    I’ve learned just how contagious my decisive action is.

  19. December 29, 2012

    I learned that I can be creative, become and entrepreneur and put out a product people like.

    Thank you,
    Brad recently posted..>> FRAG TIME SPECIAL – STRETCH GOAL <<My Profile

  20. December 29, 2012

    Hi Marquita,

    While I’ve seen your face around many times, I landed on this post through our common friend Donna Merrill on our Google+ group.

    This is really a great share. Being in the personal development world myself I’m ALWAYS trying to connect with like-minded people like you and the folks you mention here.

    Most people live by the regrets and things they don’t want, so no wonder the phrase that you mention at the beginning of your post is, indeed, so very common.

    I meet people everyday that don’t even know what Life Coach and personal development are, and who are a thousand miles from even understanding that they could live more of a the life that they dream of. Then they tend to spread their misery like a bad virus and, therefore attract more of it. Those are the people I’m trying to help.

    Thank you for sharing
    Sylviane Nuccio recently posted..A Year Of Mind Development &#8211; What Have You Learned?My Profile

  21. December 28, 2012

    Hi Marquita,

    This was a great post.I think like alot of other people this year I learned about not getting caught up in the negative things of the world.This year I stopped myself from moving forward with goals that I had set and missed some good opportunities because I was too involved with the negative “nonsense” of the world.I learned that no matter what we need to keep our eyes on positive things/thoughts and do our best to not let the negativity seep in.

    Thank you,

    Jamie Bishop recently posted..&#8220;LOVE THY NEIGHBOR&#8221;My Profile

  22. December 28, 2012

    Hi Marty,

    Well thank you for sharing this with us and I have no regrets for this year and I’m not anxious for it to end.

    I learned some time back to stay in the present moment and I’ve done a pretty good job of practicing it. I even asked a question on my Facebook Fan Page today along the lines of is there anything you would do differently if you had the chance. A few people had some regrets but luckily, not all.

    I enjoyed reading how others felt about this topic so thank you for that.

    Now go enjoy your weekend.

    Adrienne recently posted..Thankful Thursday &#8211; End 2012 With A BangMy Profile

  23. December 28, 2012

    Thanks for the post, Marquita, and for the great resources that you linked to.
    This year I started a blog and a Facebook page called “Women Making Strides: Be a Leader in Your Own Life.” I have been pleasantly surprised at the response from people who seem to connect with this concept and with my writing. It is satisfying to realize that I can benefit the world in my humble way by sharing my stories.
    Susan Ekins recently posted..Blog of the Year 2012My Profile

  24. December 28, 2012

    Hi Marty,

    I am so honored that you included me in this post. So as everyone read, my best was to Focus! I was fluttering around like a butterfly when it came to my business. I needed to really address this issue of mine. It did not happen over night, but with a commitment of training, I did achieve it.

    Happy New Year!
    Donna Merrill recently posted..Inspirational QuotesMy Profile

  25. December 28, 2012

    Hey Marquita.. yes, the most important thing I learned this year is to mingle with people like you :-)
    It is refreshing to mingle with people you can trust, share, support and overall enjoy being with. Yes, it is virtually, but since we connect in such a natural and truthful way… it seem like we know each others for ever… (well, this is what I feel anyway…)

    Your writings brings such an inspiration, and give the incentive to get to know more, to do more and to enjoy more of what life has to offer because being grateful is ll what we can do.

    Another very valuable lesson has been to BE MY SELF even more then before… because I learned that being my self is teh essence to be ONE WITH GOd, The Universal Intelligence that surround us at all times and it is there for us to utilize it for improving everything and make the best of living here on earth…

    Thanks for this provoking post and reflective moments that I was able to capture while reading it.

    Happy and Healthy 2013
    Nick Catricala recently posted..Trip to the Big City&#8230; the Experience!My Profile

  26. December 28, 2012

    This was so much fun to read as I do know a few of these people. I know I should be able to answer the central question but I still don’t know for sure. What is really amazing is how you produced a product (blog post in this case) with the help of those you know (hooray networking!) which is a simple and real example of collaboration (cross-promotion, in this case).
    Richard recently posted..Collaboration OverviewMy Profile

  27. December 28, 2012

    Hi Marquita, wonderful article as always!

    My most valuable lesson learned this year is to value my own time and to have posture. The 2 go hand in hand. I learned that if I’m putting a lot of time and effort into having a relationship with a person, and they don’t think it’s worthwhile giving me their time, then I should step back and do something for me. So, that’s what I’m going to do in 2013 – spend more time doing the things I love doing, especially when it comes to vacations.

    I look forward to seeing what gifts you bring to your blog next year Marquita, this year has certainly been amazing! Regards from Julieanne
    Julieanne vanZyl recently posted..Merry Christmas and Happy New YearMy Profile

  28. December 27, 2012

    I learned that the more I focus on supporting other and giving my time in resolve their challenges with them. The more I am empowered to find other solutions for my own challenges.

    Keeping organized in business and my personal life. Has made me realize that helping other just do this in their lives goes along way in real hands on support.

    There are many other lessons life has given me this year and they all sum up to my faith and unlimited visualization brings me each morning to a higher level of thinking. I refuse to over thing any situation and approach each challenge with courage and hope.

    Thanks for this insightful share and I pray many others read this as I will do my part in sharing it. You make us aware of ourselves and that feels good inside. I do appreciate your support.
    William Amis recently posted..Clarity Of Our IndustryMy Profile

  29. December 27, 2012

    I learned that creating something – a business, a creative project, a great relationship – does not happen quickly and easily. The attraction, the ideas, the beginnings may come quickly. But to get the desired end results requires some amount of work, sometimes frustrating, sometimes difficult and grueling. But there is an end in sight when we hold on to the vision.

    This year I took on the (National November Writers Month challenge – to write a novel of at least 50,000 words during the month of November). Having never written a novel before and having no idea how to begin, the universe conspired to get me started. I received a phone call from the publisher of a local newspaper, Around Town, that I had written a column for over 17 years ago. He just happened to call me one week before I got started writing and he told me that he had written a novel. I ordered his novel, received it in 2 days, and that novel inspired me to write mine.

    I completed over 100,000 words by November 25. And then I discovered that writing was only the beginning. I then proceeded to spend the entire month of December editing, formatting and finally uploading my book onto on 12/24/12.

    On 12/26/12, the day after Christmas, I got on 2 separate telecalls with 2 different mentors and I realized that these 2 mentors have been doing those calls every single week for a very long time, even the day after Christmas. And I finally got it. Success comes through consistent, hard work – and don’t let anybody tell you anything different.

    Have a very happy and prosperous new year.


    Dr. Erica
    Erica Goodstone recently posted..Ho’oponopono for Creating Joyful and Lasting LoveMy Profile

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